Where best to find your answers than the place you frequent the most? The place you feel most comfortable?

There is a flaw in that thinking. It’s like going to the local pub and asking the regulars to help you solve your struggle with the universe (and those who live in it). Somebody might buy you a pint…which is the up-side. The down-side is that the slurred advice from somebody who wants to get right in your face and spits a bit when they talk is that it’s not worth the price of the ‘free’ pint. So with the Internet.

The journey within can not be solved from without. (that’s a bit of original advice from your friend)

As a great philosopher once said, stay clear of the Stoics because they’re so, ahem, uplifting. But you might like Jacques Maritain, who wasn’t a Stoic and described Taoism as “occultism of the most pernicious variety.” He was French, of course.

But seriously, prayers for your Father. Get better!

Well it’s natural to be saddened by death especially suicide and this week is Birthday week so comes harder. Does analysis really work, particularly self analysis. We all have flaws and fears we just learn to live with them. Desiderata now there’s a recipe for life ” you are a child of the universe no less than the trees and stars you have a right to be here. And of books then there’s The Little Prince. Be gentle with yourself. You are precious. You are loved. You are not responsible for others faults and failings. It’s not a rehearsal go out and live your dreams. Take your medicine with a large wine. Go out and have fun. Come and enjoy Village life xx

OK. I am game to play this game. How about looking forward!?! Your next USA Adventure is a mere 60 days away. Time to start planning, get excited, fill yourself with “feel good” endorphins (I’ll bet Harrison is more than ready to jump-start the latest physical fitness program). Look at your photos of all the past good times and experiences, then check-in with Carlyn to see if your moon is correctly positioned, if you know what I mean. As you look at those photos, clips of life, remember all the new people you have met, who have become forever friends. Most important, know that you are much-loved by all your family and friends, whether in an upbeat or foul mood!

Hey Jules… Don’t make me sad…

No… wait… that’s not the lyrics.

Anyhoo… Life is a quandary… the more I thought I understood Life and such, the more confused I realized that I was. I think I was better in control when I felt I didn’t know a damned thing.

Life is a journey… we never know where we are going until we get there… and many times, we get there before we are ready.

But sometimes not.

I hope that all is well with you.

~Shoes~

I’m waiting until your body is well before giving you advice on how to heal your mind, Jules. It could be that the mind thing is just a side-effect of the body thing, in which case you’ll pooh-pooh the idea of blogotherapy in a week from now. Also, my therapy might be crap – there’s that to worry about. In the meantime you could read the autobiography of some dude who went through heavy shit and emerged contented and enlightened.

Advice? I’ll give you some advice:
Pull.
Yerself.
Together!
There: sorted!
And never mind all that philosophical bollocks, a good slap is what you need.
It always worked for me: whenever I got a bit maudling, my dad would beat seven shades of shit out of me, until I cheered up.
It’s character building.
Apparently.

Jules come home to Texas. We all have something to go through but will friends and The Texas Cowboy Church and prayers we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Love you hope to see you soon.

here are some jokes which hopefully cheer you up:

what did Mars say to Saturn? give me a ring sometime.

how does the ocean greet the beach? it waves.

these were on popsicle sticks…

*)

Jules,
You need to spend time outdoors. Nature cleanses the soul. Works every time.

Not “allowed to pray for suicide victims,”!!??!! Where did you hear such rubbish? I know. I know. Churches and clergy of all flavors, including, perhaps especially, my own, like to pass along dubious theological speculation as if it were fact. Shame on them. Spiritual leaders, parents and friends must never encourage suicide, but responsibility rather ends there. There is certainly no call for them to fabricate lies about the Creator’s imagined shortcomings of mercy in order to more strongly discourage it.

Like all human weakness, suicide need not be judged by us. That’s the job of the most merciful judge in existence. We need only be quite sure that all conceivable mercy will be poured out on those who merely hate this world a bit more than we do. And, honestly, are we not FAR more clearly instructed by Christ, especially, to hate this grotty, pathetic world? Indeed we are! Luke 14:26 comes to mind, and 1 John 2:15.

Does that make suicide honorable? Hell, no. But given the nearly “by definition” hopelessness inherent in the most common, widespread and innocent mental illnesses that afflict us, is it forgivable? Of course it is; even with the tiny mustard-seed-sized level of mercy we humans are capable of. How much more forgivable it must be for the Author of Mercy.

Because it’s all I know, I would recommend, as a start, a simple poem written by an unknown man afflicted with crushing suicidal struggles during Christmas of 2012, and his reflections.
https://4gfc.wordpress.com/2012/12/25/a-very-grunty-nativity-poem/
I think they may come to bear a little on your struggles to be forgiven for some things for which you bear no guilt. If you need help forgiving them, we are here to help. If you think you need forgiveness from them who are gone, then I think you are merely a little muddled. It is the One who never goes away from whom you need forgiveness. And, if you will it, I assure you it has already been given.

I wasn’t “allowed” to bury my father in consecrated ground because he took his own life. Couldn’t even scatter his ashes on his parents graves. Despite the fact the book lying on his bed, right before he got up and did the deed was The Bible open at some page and despite the fact this was the man that taught me all about churches, their history, which parts were Norman and which were original etcetera, etcetera. Suicide was most frowned upon.
It’s not honourable, no. Is it cowardly? At first I thought so because I was angry but really it takes guts to do what he did and how he did it. To be that devastated with life is a tragedy.

My issue with both parties to whom I refer and am upset about is largely guilt. What a useless emotion, and yet there it is. Things I should have done and did not. You’ve been very good with me on this, Grunt. You have to know I appreciate it. A lot. I still have many unanswered questions with both parties and that frustrates me.

A beautiful poem. I love smart people like you. 🙂

Jules, I can’t imagine how you cope with that. I had a friend years ago whose father committed suicide and many years later so did she. I beg of you to get some help to come to terms with this as I would hate to imagine you having similar thoughts or driving yourself to despair. Don’t see therapy as a weakness but as a comforting hand.
On a lighter note, you must know that you bring great joy to many of your readers. I laugh out loud every week at your tales and often write down things you’ve said so I can use them! For example, here ” The one avenue of pleasure and you close it down like a Baptist on Bar Lane” made me chuckle. Even on a more serious piece you still manage to bring your unique sense of humour. All the best.

Jane, I’m too much of a coward to ever top myself! Besides, I can’t torment people if I’m dead and that’s my favourite pastime. If you EVER hear that Jules has taken her life, know that something nefarious has gone on, like a Texan suicide – shot herself in the back of the head 3 times. Then call LL above, so he can hunt ’em down and skin ’em!

Thank you! So kind. I’m glad that I’m making you laugh. I promise I’ll start laughing soon. (Soon as I hit Grunt’s bar)

Always remember: You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you shouldn’t pick your friend’s nose.

New comment on your post “Doctor Feel Good”

First off, you know how to write, all right. “I’ve decided to spread my truth on the table like a vulnerable banquet.” That is beautiful. Just beautiful and may I say a true reflection of who you are and what you are. That said, I remember the day you first wrote about your father having ended his own life. I remember it like it were yesterday. It is what it is, and I applaud you for having the guts to share it with us even if writing is your outlet. Yes, some things just don’t go away simply because we choose to ignore it. But it’s a survival strategy and it makes perfect sense. I, too, have seen so many people die these past few years that I’ve become unable to take anything on this planet seriously except for the people I love and like. It’s that feeling of being unable to stop death from happening that hurts more than anything else. The gods can go sit on a stick, but that’s just me, Jules Dear. Don’t let them get to you. Live now. This might be as good as it gets. People always want more, even feel worthy of an afterlife because this one isn’t good enough for them. I’ve known you as someone who knows how to suck (No, no, not suck!… Read on, dammit!)- the marrow out of life -without choking on the bone (thank you, Mr. Keating), and you’re an inspiration. What I’m trying to say while spreading my truth on the table in the process is that even when you’re floored, you still inspire through your writing. There. I said it.

Blue

Blue, you made me cry.In a good way. You are such a wonderful person. You are so in tune with everything I believe and feel it’s astounding. If the internet is good for anything, it’s being blessed with a friend like you. I mean that with so much beautiful ferocity I can’t express it well enough. Thank you 🙂 x