Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy World Cup On A Wednesday!
What can I say? Not a lot actually because I’ve about lost my voice. You’re lucky I’m here because last night I nearly died of heart failure. Talk about stress….
What a bunch of skanky cheats the Colombian players were. Even their coach knocked into Sterling as he walked off the pitch at half-time. Wow. What a great role model. But guess what, Colombia?
YOU ARE GOING HOME!
Apparently, our English sense of humour upset the Colombians.
Nobody is talking about anything else today except for the fact that “Football’s Coming Home”
And on Saturday England will be kicking viking arses playing Sweden in the quarter-finals.
“I mean they couldn’t hit an IKEA door with a hammer” -Gary Lineker on Sweden.
As you can see, we are a tad excited.
26 Comments on Harry’s Heroes
LL
4th Jul, 2018 12:07
Do you project that England will WIN the World Cup? I need you to handicap this for me in the event that I decide to throw some of my hard earned money down on the outcome.
Jules Smith
4th Jul, 2018 16:07
Here’s my prediction for Quarter finals:
England will beat Sweden
France will beat Uruguay
Brazil will beat Belgium (though Belgium are a dark horse)
Croatia will beat Russia (Though the Ruskies knocked Spain out so, ya never know…)
Semi- finals:
England V Croatia (ENGLAND WIN OBVS)
France v Brazil (Statistically it should be Brazil though France have got the next scoring superstar)
FINAL: England v Brazil – I just asked Kevin and he said England. I love this kind of loyalty. Put your money on us, Larry cos if ever England had a chance since 1966 it’s now.
Hardnox
4th Jul, 2018 13:07
Very funny Julesey. Assuming England wins, then what happens? Unicorns, rainbows, world peace, OR drunken Brits everywhere? 🙂
Hope you guys win this.
Jules Smith
4th Jul, 2018 17:07
What happens, Nox? Complete and utter mayhem and England coming to a standstill for about 5 days.
Yes, there will be unicorns, rainbows, magic glitter and world peace because everybody here will be as high as a kite and full of love. That is also code for -yes, drunken Brits everywhere. Well, English people. We are far from united at this point! Beware the ex-pats!
Thank you, so do I!
TC
4th Jul, 2018 15:07
Long flight back to Bogotá. Good time to binge watch “Narcos” on Netflix.
Meantime, Sweden can stick to pickled herring.
⚽ ??
Jules Smith
4th Jul, 2018 17:07
Hahahahahaha! Innit, TC! Great series choice!
Anyone who eats pickled herring doesn’t deserve to win anything. ;P
Lynne Bod Allen
4th Jul, 2018 16:07
I’ve just heard that beer in Sweden is around £6 a pint. In England it’s around £4 a pint. BUT in Russia beer averages 73p a pint (not to mention the cheap vodka) so I’m guessing Saturday will see fans in Russia totally smashed with joy or obliterated with sorrow for less than a tenner!!
Jules Smith
4th Jul, 2018 17:07
When England played Belgium (which was basically a friendly as they were both going through) 32 million pints were poured. On a Thursday night. We rock hardcore to the max. Can you imagine what Saturday night will bring?
They let England fans into Russia where it’s 73 pence a pint? Mental! I hope the KGB are reinstated and ready!
Mike_C
4th Jul, 2018 22:07
>beer in Sweden is around £6 a pint.
Hah! My Pimsleur (or one of those “learn a furrin language by audio” thingies, I forget) used a skit set in a bar to teach numbers in Swedish.
“Ett glas öl, tack.”
“Två kronor.”
And so forth. After variations on this, a deep, serious male voice came on, saying earnestly, “Please note: beer is expensive in Sweden. Travelers should expect to pay MUCH more than two kronor for beer — or any other alcoholic beverage.” Then the tape went back to another skit. If I recall correctly, it involved a poor fellow called Bjorn trying (and failing) to invite a woman called Karin out to lunch.
And here is another take on beer ecosystem in Scandinavia. “We Finns” however often buy our cheap booze in Estonia.
https://satwcomic.com/the-circle-of-beer
Jules Smith
5th Jul, 2018 12:07
Travellers should smuggle their own in!
What’s up with Karin? Bloody hell, Bjorn must be pulling the worst chat up lines ever for her not to go out and not have to pay for her own beer!
Six quid a pint is pretty expensive. What else do they have on offer? I’m surprised it’s not rife with moonshine.
LSP
4th Jul, 2018 18:07
ENGLAND!
And BREXIT.
Chop, chop.
Jules Smith
5th Jul, 2018 12:07
Tick.
Tick.
On it!
Masher
4th Jul, 2018 22:07
I feel sorry for Federer; Nadal; Serena and co.
This is normally their fortnight in the limelight, but no-one is paying them any attention at the moment.
Jules Smith
5th Jul, 2018 12:07
Tennis is on?
Oh.
Nobody cares. Although this year I wouldn’t have to look at Andy Murray’s mum. 😉
Exile on Pain Street
5th Jul, 2018 11:07
Sweden?! Who are they? Didn’t they beat Switzerland? I thought they were the same country. Go Lions! I’m all-in on the WC this time around. Don’t know why it drilled so deep under my skin but it did.
Jules Smith
5th Jul, 2018 12:07
They’re like French that don’t fight. Not surprised if their beer is that expensive. That’s all personality out the window.
They did beat Switzerland…E-v-e-n-t-u-a-l-l-y…
YES! THREE LIONS! COME ON! Get yourself in one of those Chelsea bars on Saturday – about 10 am your time and cheer them on! I can’t because I’ve really gone and lost my voice and it still hasn’t come back. I’ve bought an air horn though as back up. ;P
Exile on Pain Street
11th Jul, 2018 11:07
I would’ve loved to see these games out there. Can you imagine? What a thrill that must be for you guys. Here’s hoping…
the late phoenix
5th Jul, 2018 19:07
I’d love to be in a pub when the moment hits. I was at a pub for a nine-darter but it just isn’t the same. cos it’s regional
David Attenborough DM’d me on my insta and told me about the legend of the Three Lions. you know why there are Three Lions on a shirt? cos they’re doing the samba…
*)
Jules Smith
7th Jul, 2018 11:07
It’s awesome, my sweet! There’s nothing better than an international match in a pub. So long as you win!
You’re absolutely right. It has nothing to do with Richard the Lionheart because he couldn’t dance. Except with a sword.
*)
Terry
7th Jul, 2018 01:07
I’ll be pulling for England just for you Julesy !
If any country deserves to win a darts championship it’s you Limeys !!
Jules Smith
7th Jul, 2018 11:07
Pulling what exactly? No, please don’t answer that…;)
You better be, PPS! Get your budgies on and give it some dinner! ( That means dress accordingly and show some passion) Save you Googling the urban dictionary and coming up with something entirely inappropriate. Oh, go on then…:)
Terry
8th Jul, 2018 00:07
I tried anyway, but the Urban dictionary thought I was nuts.
As for my budgie, it is ALWAYS well groomed. Most ladies are so impressed they think I have a cockatoo.
Jules Smith
8th Jul, 2018 14:07
Oh, that was good…so good. Haha! You’re as smooth as they come, mucker! ;P
Terry
9th Jul, 2018 01:07
Heh, heh, heh….. 😉
goatman
8th Jul, 2018 19:07
Congrats on the British win.
I am saddened, though, by the cheating spectacle of players pretending to be hurt.
I guess the Brazilians were the best actors. But maybe they all do it? (Jobs for acting
coaches.)
Jules Smith
10th Jul, 2018 10:07
Thank you, Goatman!
Yeah, I hear ya. England don’t generally do that stuff. Mostly the Latin types or South Americans. AND THE CHEATING COLOMBIANS.
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