Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday!
So, I got a new pet.
His name is Gourd.
I always wanted a bird. One of those really naughty ones that shout at people and throw things around.
Instead, I got a puppet.
But now I have Gourd. Because someone thought this would amuse me. They were right.
Gourd is very easy to look after: No walks, no maintenance, no feeding, walking or fussing. Unlike my other pets who are incredibly needy. Not Gourd. You can take him anywhere without an ounce of trouble.
Unfortunately, he only has a life -span of about 6 months. That may seem harsh but it stops you getting attached.
You can stick him outside come rain or shine and he will not destroy your garden.
He will sit quietly until you fetch him inside.
He adds interest at dinner parties…
He makes friends easily…
After some persistence…
He even managed to sneak up on a sleeping wolfit…
And a Jack Russell Terrorist…
He even made friends with my outdoor pet crow (also maintenance-free) I purchased the crow in order to attract a group of them to swarm over my house for Halloween. I also got an app on my phone that calls them. When you say this out loud it makes me sound weird. Huh.
But not Kevin. Kevin hates him.
I love Kevin.
21 Comments on Gourd of the Manor
Bathwater
23rd Oct, 2019 18:10
If you make gourd sleep in the refrigerator he may last a bit longer. You certainly put some thought into this one.
Jules Smith
24th Oct, 2019 12:10
Good point. Maybe he should sleep in there.
Not much thought, just my ability to be ridiculous!
the late phoenix
23rd Oct, 2019 20:10
that looks like my………you know…
mah dahlin I TOLD you you were Mama Nature!
oh you have such beautiful red/orange/yellow trees outside! I know, i’m not looking at the right thing
next up: get a Niddler The Monkeybird, he’ll help you with the dishes and the laundry and the finding of all 13 Treasures
you’re the Female Billy Mays!
ever since the Alice In Wonderland thing I can’t drink anymore…
you know how penguins make love? they slide
not a bad death to go out as Tex’s chewtoy. Noops is so pretty! Noops drank all the cream and now he’s Cream Of The Crop! speaking of, those ravens need to get back to writing the UK Constitution! that log on the left side of the Kevin pic looks like a turtle…
The Holy Mountain, now THAT’s a date movie…
*)
Jules Smith
24th Oct, 2019 12:10
The trees here are most spectacular. It’s OK to look at them. As Mamma nature I applaud this.
Noops is a very pretty boy and uses this to his advantage. This is how he catches things.
That log looks just like a turtle! LOOK! I have ANOTHER pet! *)
LL
24th Oct, 2019 03:10
An art philosopher’s take on a pet rock. Except that the pet rock’s lifespan is measured in millions of years. And Kevin won’t hate a pet rock. He may lay on the rock if it’s warm.
Jules Smith
24th Oct, 2019 12:10
Ah, LL, it may look like a pet rock but it is, in fact, a pumpkin! A miniature oddly shaped squash. Over here we call them ornamental gourds. Kevin can actually eat it. Tex would definitely eat it and so would the terrier. In fact, I might end up eating him myself. Gourd really is the gift that keeps on giving!
LL
24th Oct, 2019 15:10
It looks like a crookneck squash.
Jules Smith
27th Oct, 2019 08:10
I don’t know what that is, but it sounds right!
LL
9th Nov, 2019 10:11
Jules, I tried to e-mail you this morning (Sat, Nov 9) but it appears as though the e-mail server is down, even as the Internet is up. Go figure.
Jules Smith
10th Nov, 2019 15:11
Technology! PFFFT! It’s rubbish!
But I think I got it! 🙂
LSP
26th Oct, 2019 04:10
What a fantastic gourd post! You might like this, on topic:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers
Jules Smith
27th Oct, 2019 08:10
Hahahahaha! What a great post!
Julia
28th Oct, 2019 18:10
Love him, bring him to Krakow
Jules Smith
31st Oct, 2019 10:10
Hello my lovely friend! Good to see you here!
Of course I’ll bring him but he may end up in beetroot borscht!
The Blue Grumpster
9th Nov, 2019 18:11
Well, that sure made my day, Jules Dear! That Gourd is one cool bird, all right. Nice color, too. Sneaking up on furry friends and going for a ride in your car… (You do know your steering wheel is on the wrong side of your car, right? Just trying to help, you ha.) I do need Gourd to tell me the nitty gritty of picking up a penguin. So far I have been unsuccessful. (Don’t ask!)
Anyhooter, you have a great weekend, and listen when we all say we think you’re wonderful, okay?
Blue
P.S. Jules, can I ask you a favor? Could you say something nice to my friend Arza? HERE. She’s a darker shade of blue but at least I got her to start blogging again. I owe you one! Make that two! Say hi to Gourd from me, will ya?
Jules Smith
10th Nov, 2019 15:11
It’s a good job that the simple thing entertain me, right, Blue?
He’s still going strong is my Gourd. Maybe he’ll make a nice soup at some point!
You are so kind – The wonderful is around me 😉
I’ve been and left a comment. Poor Az. She’s such an amazing woman and she needs to know this….
Love ya, Blue x
The Blue Grumpster
10th Nov, 2019 15:11
You’re truly one of a kind, Jules. One of a kind.
Love ya right back!
Blue
The Blue Grumpster
9th Nov, 2019 19:11
P.S. Dammit she just changed her address: HERE
Jules Smith
10th Nov, 2019 15:11
It only took me 4.5 hours to figure this out…..DUH
The Blue Grumpster
10th Nov, 2019 15:11
Say it ain’t so!
Jules Smith
11th Nov, 2019 09:11
I’m afraid it is. because I is stoopid!
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