Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday
Now, I have more than enough whimsy to write about but something else happened yesterday that took precedence.
A Sign from Heaven
As I was working like a little trooper, a series of texts, emails and “tags” on Facebook came through to my phone. I started to pay attention when they all said the same thing:
“Jules, have you seen this? It’s got your name all over it!”
“Has it got the Queen’s face on and does it come in stacks?” I replied.
“Better. Take a look. You’ve gotta go for this.”
So. I did. I checked it out everywhere just to make sure. I triple checked like the best researcher on Earth.
They’re calling this a job?
Turns out, a company called Thirdhome are looking to pay someone $24, 000 for a three month contract to do this:
Go around the world and stay in their clients luxury homes. Get paid to do this and have your expenses covered too. Well hello, sailor…
And their ideal candidate is….
A blogger. Tick.
A writer. Tick.
In fact, a storyteller. Big Tick.
A vlogger and photographer. Tick.
Someone who enjoys travelling. How many ticks do you want?
Someone who can go away for 3 months at a time. Hello! Tick.
Someone who appreciates and understands luxury. Tick, Tick and Tick.
I mean, why didn’t they just call me?
How to get the best job on the planet?
A one minute pitch. By video. Oh, and deadline is tonight. No pressure then…
I want this, people. And y’all know it should be mine so think positive!
35 Comments on The Best Job On The Planet
Hazel
29th Mar, 2017 17:03
Get in there Bigman! & if they need any references I have poetry penned by your good self from our travels & adventures going back to the 80’s! X
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 17:03
Those historic pieces of art should earn me a literary prize if nothing else! Can’t believe you still have them! Must read them again 🙂 And thanks for the well wishes, Bigman. X
Hazel
29th Mar, 2017 21:03
How could I ever have got rid of those? Perfect poetry ! X
Jules Smith
30th Mar, 2017 10:03
You’re a true believer! They were funny! 🙂 x
Tracy
29th Mar, 2017 17:03
Hugely positive thoughts coming your way! Completely agree that this has your name all over it…so perfect for you, and you are well suited for it. Good luck! xx
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 17:03
Thank you, Tracy! I’m sure the world and its dog are going for this but I’m not the world and its dog. I am Jules Smith! (The power of positive thought!) x
TC
29th Mar, 2017 17:03
Tailor-Made x
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 17:03
Succinct and accurate, TC! X 🙂
LSP
29th Mar, 2017 18:03
That’s very odd. I heard the exact same pitch on the radio as I was driving to Bosque County th other day. Obviously a message from the Higher Power.
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 18:03
And the Higher Power needs me to do this job. Ensure it is so, LSP! 😉
LL
29th Mar, 2017 18:03
Does it also come with a DB9? If not, you need to request it.
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 18:03
You, Larry, are a very wise person. There’s no class in turning up to these posh gaffs in anything less. 🙂
Solaratov
29th Mar, 2017 18:03
The perfect job for you, princess. I really hope you get it.
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 19:03
As perfect as it gets, Sol. Thank you for that 🙂
Elaine Cook
29th Mar, 2017 19:03
I could carry your cameras pens pads iPad and any other tools you might need xx
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 19:03
And who better! It shall be so, cakes! 🙂 x
Gorilla Bananas
29th Mar, 2017 19:03
This job advert must have veen written by your Fairy Godmother, Jules! Take a pumpkin and some mice to the interview. I will volunteer to massage your foot before placing it inside the glass slipper!
Jules Smith
29th Mar, 2017 19:03
I thought the same, Mr. Gorilla Bananas! I will go to the ball but I will not be leaving at midnight! Bring the Windolene; I want to be crystal clear about that. And the asses milk for my foot bath. 🙂
Teresa Lowert
30th Mar, 2017 00:03
While I did not write the job for Jules, I do volunteer to be the friend who is invited to accompany the winner (hopefully, Jules)! The Fairy Godmother
Jules Smith
30th Mar, 2017 10:03
And as FG, you have VERY much earnt that privilege! 🙂
Cindy Oakley
30th Mar, 2017 00:03
I think the opportunity is in your pocket. You nailed it with your video!
Wish I could join you!
Jules Smith
30th Mar, 2017 10:03
Thank you, Cindy! If it comes to fruition, cocktails on me 😉
Masher
30th Mar, 2017 05:03
Well, if I’d seen that job advertised, I would have sent it straight to you: can’t think of anyone more suited (and bewwted) for the job.
Excellent job on the video btw.
Fingers crossed for you.
Jules Smith
30th Mar, 2017 11:03
Right on, Masher! I’m very well bewwwted!
Thank you and I can always help you out in the office with Quo tracks if I don’t land this one!
goatman
30th Mar, 2017 05:03
U’ve heard of too good to be true? Sorry about that bubble, be careful!
Jules Smith
30th Mar, 2017 11:03
Goatman, I am under no illusions. I don’t call myself the cynical slick chick for nuffin’!
However, without hope, what do we have? Without dreams, what do strive for?
If this miracle doesn’t land in my lap as it rightly should then chances are the following will happen:
I will become but a number in this company’s genius, global data collection which they will utilise to tempt me with luxurious properties and sell my info on to others for a small fortune.
I will probably spend the rest of my life clearing out spam from my email.
I will have to continue to fund my own whimsical adventures by writing banal slot fillers.
C’est la vie. 🙂
the late phoenix
30th Mar, 2017 18:03
you got this, mah dahlin! they say if you write something down, you have a 50% more chance to achieve it. i don’t know if this is true but i saw it in a Post-It Notes commercial. i saw all those other hashtag applicants and they’re all slick corporate youtube lifer lifecasters made of wood, you’re a real downhome person with a ticklish accent.
there is no greater vocation or avocation than writing, whether you’re a professional travel blogger or like me just trying to keep the shadows and blue flies away from the dark recesses of my basement mind.
good vibes! *dove emoji* *)
Jules Smith
31st Mar, 2017 08:03
I love your support, my sweet!
I never knew that about writing things down. If I do it twice will I get 100% ?
“I will get the best job on the planet. I will get the best job on the planet” Let’s see.
Yeah, they don’t need slick, corporate film makers! They need real, down to earth fighters and go getters like me!
I love writers. *)
Exile on Pain Street
31st Mar, 2017 18:03
Maybe I’m just a jaded, old, cynical, creepy New Yorker but it sounds kind of scammy to me. Too good to be true so it might not be. Be careful, okay? If they start asking for a start-up or registration fee, run away.
Jules Smith
1st Apr, 2017 16:04
Well, I thought the same, M but credible journals were talking about it. Still, of course I’ll be careful. I don’t part with money well 😉
The Blue Grumpster
2nd Apr, 2017 18:04
It’s got your name all over it, all right! Tick tick tick!
Jules Smith
3rd Apr, 2017 15:04
You know the only reason I’m doing this, Blue? Go on, guess. I know that you know.
Well let me tell you: BORA BORA. 😉
The Blue Grumpster
5th Apr, 2017 20:04
Bora would suit you down to the ground!
Jules Smith
5th Apr, 2017 20:04
Oh, I know. Why oh why am I not there?!
manicure
9th Apr, 2017 05:04
First of all I want to say great blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your mind before writing.
I’ve had difficulty clearing my thoughts
in getting my thoughts out. I do enjoy writing but it just seems like
the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost just trying
to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints?
Appreciate it!
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