Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday!
I left you all in the lurch last week because I was too busy enjoying myself on my rural rodeo. Sometimes, a city chick needs a hiatus. Besides, you can’t miss me if I’m here all the time.
So, I’m back in the good old US of A and here’s what I’ve been up to:
High heels? Replaced with hiking boots and obviously cowboy boots.
Dior? Lose it. Only attracts mozzies.
Hairdryer and straighteners? Not tonight, Josephine.
A pound ain’t sound unless it’s holey.
I arrived in America with new pound coins. Well, naturally I had to have them shot because I had an idea.
So, guns out…
Blast out the middle…
And make this…
Totally original, one off boot straps with shot up moolah! Who else has these? That’s right, nobody. I’m selling them for several hundred dollars if you want one.
The girl gone got herself a horse
My horse confidence has grown tenfold. At a ranch in Texas, I was taken out to ride and told that first off, I had to go catch a horse. I nearly died of fright. I then had to learn to brush its mane and tail, check the hooves and walk behind it. This wasn’t funny. That’s called dicing with death. I then had to tack it up and walk my horse around before getting on and learning more riding skills. Afterwards, I had to wash my horse down. I’ve noticed that there’s always a pay-off for enjoying yourself: Shoot guns – gotta clean them. Drink margaritas – get a headache. Ride horses – have to wash them. Life’s very unfair.
At the end of which, my horse walked next to me without me even holding the reins. Totally bossed it.
Colorado Rocky Mountain High
The mountains were calling so off I went. Back to Colorado. This time, Vail.
No running. Really? You can’t even walk in this place without your lungs collapsing so there’s no danger of running anywhere! Breathing in the mountains is very difficult and as much as I love this beautiful place, I am in a constant state of anxiety about suffocating.
So, what better thing to do than spend 4 hours walking up and down a mountain on your first day?
But what a view.
I don’t think people who live in Colorado are allowed to be unhappy. How can you be miserable when you get up and look at this scenery every day?
Them dirty old trucks
On a totally separate note, I’m totally done with posh cars now. I’d happily trade mine in for this one. I LOVE it. WANT it. NOW.
Right, I have a hike to do. Torture reigns. I’ll catch up with y’all soon, in the meantime, behave yourselves and don’t do anything I wouldn’t.
22 Comments on A Rural Rodeo
LL
17th May, 2017 14:05
That sounds fun, and I may take all that for granted, you know. It’s nice to see things through your eyes.
Jules Smith
17th May, 2017 17:05
I think we are all guilty of that, LL. Last time I went home I made a point of visiting lots of places in England and looking at them through fresh eyes. It’s easy to take the stuff on your doorstep for granted. 🙂
PS: I hope you noted the super cool t-shirt I wore in order to enhance my shooting skills!
Janet Janovich
17th May, 2017 15:05
So glad you are back in the USA‼️ Glad we will be seeing you again? ‼️
Jules Smith
17th May, 2017 17:05
Can’t wait, Janet! Yee – Haw! Give everybody my love and big hugs. xx
Masher
17th May, 2017 16:05
Can’t help but feel that blighty is on to a bit of a loser, now that you’ve found ‘merica.
I can totally see you moving out there for good. Bewts an’ all.
Was it something we said?
Colorado is lovely.
You could make a pilgrimage to Boulder whilst you are there… but then, I’m guessing you are probably too young to remember Mork & Mindy, anyway.
Jules Smith
17th May, 2017 17:05
I’m still a thoroughbred British bird, Masher. I just have wanderlust! I get bored very quickly and America has bigger doughnuts.
Colorado is like the Peak District on steroids. Gorgeous. I’m just about to fly off elsewhere, otherwise I would have. *Nano-Nano* 😉
Rick
17th May, 2017 17:05
And why do hardly ever see a pick up truck back here in good old Blighty? Because if you left anything in the back it’d get nicked!
Jules Smith
17th May, 2017 17:05
I thought the very same, Rick. Some thieving skank would be off with your goods. Need to have a hard top but that kind of ruins the look. 🙂
lyle
17th May, 2017 18:05
Pagosa springs is nice; there in Colorado. Cook like a fish then into cold river.
Jules Smith
18th May, 2017 15:05
Unfortunately, have moved on but I shall certainly add that to my next visit! Cook like a fish then into cold river! – I like that. 🙂
Gorilla Bananas
17th May, 2017 20:05
Mountains and dirty old trucks? Why I do believe you’re becoming a hillbilly, Jules! When are you taking your first banjo lesson? Don’t eat possums, though, those critters can give you indigesion.
Jules Smith
18th May, 2017 15:05
I think there’s rebellious hillbilly within me, Mr. Gorilla Bananas. However, it’s gilded with British class and therefore becomes quirky.
The only time I’ve ever seen a possum is when it’s roadkill and you don’t have to fear me eating one because there are plenty of late night Taco stands about…;)
LSP
18th May, 2017 03:05
Ride on and shoot the moolah. Great result! Vail looks neat too, be careful in those high rocky mountains.
Jules Smith
18th May, 2017 15:05
There’s no other way to do it, LSP. It was touch and go in those Rocky Mountains but I remain intact. 🙂
the late phoenix
18th May, 2017 19:05
mozzies=Moz fans, wear Smiths T shirts and have crew cuts, even the girls
and as the day tires and you hang your damp straps on the washing line, spit-shine your spurs by the nascent campfire, the char rises up to the shadow valley. you spit out your last chew and watch as the horses rustle the cows out of the puddles. you turn the corn on the spit and pick up your banjo, looking up with hope to catch the last glimmer of the sun. but there is no sun. there is only a black hole. and you sing the last strains of the epoch which defined your sleepy era:
black hole sun, won’t you come? and wash away the rain
*)
Jules Smith
19th May, 2017 02:05
Heaven sent Hell away.
You really should write a western, my sweet. That was glorious. *)
The Blue Grumpster
19th May, 2017 21:05
Ain’t nothing like a dirty old truck! They’re big and you know they’re the real thing. As are you. The real thing, not dirty. Just saying.
Have fun, Jules.
Blue
Jules Smith
21st May, 2017 16:05
Ha! There’s nothing like the real deal, is there Blue. No messin’, no foolin, and no bull. That’s the way I like it. 🙂
Big hugs, my lovely X
Jane Lowe
21st May, 2017 05:05
Jules, you’re such an adventurer. I don’t know many girls who’d go off and do all these activities across the world. Good for you!
Jules Smith
21st May, 2017 17:05
Well, some girls like homemaking and knitting and I’ve tried to do all that but it doesn’t always pay dividends. You have to get out into that big old world and check it out. Life’s too short to spend it making the perfect omelette. 😉
Exile on Pain Street
25th May, 2017 12:05
I enjoy your Bedouin adventures. You’re kind of living the life I aspired to. How do you like my dream? Pretty great, right?
Jules Smith
25th May, 2017 17:05
I like it very much. I’m only doing it for you so you can live vicariously. 🙂
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