Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday!

Guten Tag meine Freunde!

I am back from beautiful Switzerland refreshed, recycled and really, really poor. But would I do it again? In a heartbeat. 

Why?

There’s something about those mountains. 

Bordering On Basel

Apparently pronounced Barrrzul and not like Sybil shouting her husband in Fawlty Towers. As far as communication goes this is the worst airport I have been to and I’ve been to many airports. Landing at midnight probably didn’t help as nobody was there so finding your way out is somewhat of a nightmare. 

 I followed the exit and wandered down to find a taxi. I stood there like a spare part as there was only one lady taxi driver clearly waiting for someone. There were no other taxis to be found.  Hmmm. Not a bus, a train, or anything. Brilliant. I looked at the lady taxi driver, she looked at me, and so it went. This game continued for a while. Eventually, she caved and asked me in French if I was waiting for a taxi.

“Oui! Oh, mon Dieu, I thought you’d never bloody ask. Anyway, madame, I thought we parlayed German in Switzerland?”

“You are not in zee Switzerland you eez in zee French side of Basel. You must go back into zee airport and go out zee Swiss side.”

Really? An airport with sides?

Just you go and try to find the right side when the airport is basically shut down and all exits are blocked off. See how easy that is at nearly 1 AM and how that tests your patience. 

However, the next morning as I strolled through the pretty streets and stopped for breakfast at a beautiful little cafe, my natural, charming nature returned. Right up until I got the bill for 44 Swiss Francs which basically equates to 42 quid. I nearly choked on my flaky pastry. Still, it was a very nice breakfast and a beautiful place that I’d like to return to in winter. 

Planes, Trains and In-between Lakes

That very afternoon I jumped on a train and headed out to Interlaken which means ‘in-between two lakes.’ Said to be the playground for the adrenaline junkie, Interlaken is very pretty and a great base/gateway to travel from. The train is a two-hour journey and still very expensive compared to the usual cheap and cheerful train costs in Europe. Swiss train travel is more on par with train travel in the UK.

I had read that the water in Interlaken was a beautiful turquoise which is caused by the snow from the mountains melting into it. When I got there it was like a picture postcard or a perfect photo.  In fact, I said to my fellow family traveller, “it’s like arriving in Instagram.”

However, being in-between two lakes might give you lovely mountain views but you have to travel to see either one of the lakes. Interlaken itself is a mysterious street filled with so many watch shops I wonder if the people in Switzerland have a problem telling the time. I know they are famous for watches but this is ridiculous. There is nothing to do except buy watches or eat at a couple of extortionate restaurants; most of the activity is paragliding. If you look up at the sky it is full of people gliding through the air between the mountains. 

Harder Kulm

Harder Kulm is the very top of Interlaken giving breathtaking views over the lakes and probably the best thing to do in Interlaken other than jump off the mountain with wings. 

At the top of the mountain, I enjoyed spectacular views, a nice raclette, and sat painting a picture of the scenery. An Essex girl came up behind me and said, “Wow! Did you do that from scratch?”

I felt a great sense of pride but didn’t know what to say because how else would I do it? Painting by numbers? I was saved by my family member who said, “She’s so cool she even made the art book from scratch.”

Smug, moi? *flicks hair and continues to paint the rugged mountain top in the distance*

Time For Some Fun In Thun

Except it isn’t pronounced Thun but instead ‘Toon’.  I uprooted from the tourist trap that is Interlaken and moved down the road to a place called Hilterfingen right on Lake Thun and a few minutes out of the beautiful town of Thun. Stunning and exactly what you’d expect from a Swiss village.

A cheese shop in front of a church ringing bells every hour.

A beautiful lake to swim in and sail on.

And a view from my bedroom window like this. 

I found a lovely restaurant down the road at Oberhofen called Pier 17 which only opened in the evening when it wasn’t raining as all seating is outside. Al-fresco dining on the pier overlooking Lake Thun. Thankfully, we experienced 28-30 degrees every day so this soon became a favourite venue. I also had one of the best soft drinks I have ever had – it’s called a Rettungsanker and it tastes like life-giving nectar and helps wash down the knobli brot!

Grindelwald 

Grindelwald is a place I have been longing to visit for years. Every time I saw pictures of it I used to sigh at how pretty and idyllic it looked – like a fairytale place. I hoped I wouldn’t be disappointed when I visited in the summer. I wasn’t.

 What a gorgeous place filled with Swiss charm and enormous, right-on-top-of-you mountains. I will love this place forever.

I also had the best experience zip-lining through the trees from the top of the mountains

followed by painting at the top of Grindelwald

and eating a delicious plate of rosti

Honestly, it is so perfect. Even the cows here have bells around their necks. You couldn’t get more Swiss if you tried.

I recommend this place to everyone. 

Toblermoan

My only argument with Switzerland is how expensive it is – double the price of England and I live in an expensive country. I looked up the average wage in Switzerland which is 6K a month. Trust me, you need it! If you go there try and get day passes and travel as far as you can – these are about £48 a day but let you travel all across Switzerland. All buses are free so take advantage of that too and maybe get an Airbnb so you can self cater. My first cocktail cost me £15 so I went on to orange juice. That cost me £12 so I quickly returned to the cocktail. I’m not going to punish myself for 3 quid!

What I found most ridiculous is that a box of Lindt chocolates – made in Switzerland – cost 10 quid. You can get them in Asda for under a fiver! And Toblerone… well… I even waited until I got to duty-free before picking two of them up and they cost me £24. I looked in the supermarket last night and they were £3 each. That made me sick. As I said to the recipient, “You had better enjoy every bloody triangle.”

Summary: A beautiful place with wonderful people and the most stunning scenery I’ve ever witnessed next to Colorado. Just be prepared to pay for it. 

Auf Wiedersehen, meine Freunde.