Satirical Snapshots noticing that since Whimsy went AWOL – Corona came calling.
The powers behind this blog have recognised a need to address the balance with a daily dose of…
Corona Corner
In the beginning
They laughed at me, they did. As I went about my shopping weeks ago wearing disposable gloves so I didn’t pick up any germs from the great unwashed. Oh, how I was mocked by friends, sneered at by strangers, eye-rolled by shop assistants…
Wow. When I’m the only one without this beastly virus who will be laughing then?
Yeah…
•crickets•
Anyway, since catching a dreadful virus with a fever and persistent dry cough, I have found myself in quarantine. Ordered to stay isolated for 14 days unless breathing in and out gets a bit dodgy. Not panicking about that at all. The fact that drinking a cup of tea too fast made me very breathless did not incite any Oh-my-god-this-is-it-I’m-gonna-die fear whatsoever.
DEAR GOD. BREATHING IS KEY.
But it’s all gonna be fine… *Mantra*
And on the sixth day
…of my quarantine I have recognised that 14 days staying put is a long time for people with monkey brains. Many people are going to have to come to terms with who they are, because:
Shoppers can’t shop
Amazon is no longer delivering prizes
Foodies can’t go to restaurants
Goddesses can’t hang out at cocktail bars
Parties are a bit dodgy, and that’s even without the swinging
I think a lot of us are going to find out what we’re made of.
Corona Corner Corrective
I don’t know about you but I feel like I’m in a movie – it’s very surreal. Who knew my porch would be the safe-space of the future – a place for people to collect or deposit things?
They said on the news that being supportive as and when you can is important and that community spirit must prevail. People have been very nice to me:
I’ve had beautiful e-mails
Prayers
Many offers of food parcels ( and selflessly I’m not milking this )
Fabulous people walking the wolfit
An activity book
A list of films and series to watch
In return, I have decided to bring you an activity a day. Something you can do that I have found either helpful /uplifting / stops you from killing someone.
Drum roll…..DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Corona Corner #1 – Fleece Your Fridge
Now before you start getting all bent out of shape thinking this is a horribly boring job that you don’t want to do and you thought this was gonna be fun, Jules, DUH… hear me out.
I took something from my small refrigerator yesterday and thought, ‘hmmm…that’s a bit sticky. Ewww.’ I wiped the jar and put it back noticing that something had leaked a little and upon closer inspection realised that, “OH MY Darkest Days This Fridge is MINGING and no wonder you have Coronavirus, you filthy bitch!”
I’m a very clean and tidy person so realising that I had short-changed my domestic goddess in this area made me feel most sullied and unworthy.
Out came all the jars and bottles and last weeks salad that had turned into its very own smoothie. Gross.
I ripped out all the funny little compartments and shelves.
I even found a rogue blueberry swimming in the outlet drain. Explains a lot…
Corona Corner Conclusion
After getting to grips with this task whilst self-isolating the following things happened:
- I stopped thinking about not being able to breathe properly
- I rid myself of many out-of-date products that could have killed me
- The rhythmic repetition of cleaning opened my creative mind and made me think up “Corona Corner” – You’re welcome.
- I found some mascarpone, sun-dried tomatoes, mushrooms and half a pot of red pesto that I’d forgotten about. I made a beautiful pasta sauce with this for my tea thus eating healthily and inventing a new pasta dish in a time of crisis.
- I will not have to do this job again because I’m going to keep on top of it / have a new fridge by then/ or will have written a best seller on how to survive a pandemic.
May you enjoy today’s task from Corona Corner until I bring your next one tomorrow, and never forget…
#CurbYourFrustrationAndTaskInIsolation
18 Comments on Corona Corner #1
LL
18th Mar, 2020 15:03
I’m happy to see that you’re well enough to get up and clean out the refrigerator. It means that you’re not suffocating. It means that your temperature must be going down and since you’re cleaning and blogging, you’re on the mend. (large clown-style smile on my face). Boudica was not deterred by a virus and neither was her wolf, so there is a historical precedent for your rapid recovery.
It JUST this minute started snowing at the White Wolf Mine and it’s supposed to snow until there’s a foot of it on the ground. Then it’s supposed to stop. I wonder if that can kill the virus if it’s lurking in the area?
Jules Smith
18th Mar, 2020 16:03
Hello LL! I am definitely better from a temperature/fever point of view. I didn’t get breathless at all until today. That, I am finding scary. Just standing up from sitting makes me breathless. So long as that doesn’t get any worse. They say day 9 is the turning point so if I’m not here on day 10 send in the SEALS!
The wolf is keeping me sane, bless him, and blogging and creating are helping me not go bonkers.
Your pad will be lovely in the snow and I hope it kills any trace of this evil thing. Just stay away from people. 🙂
Rick
18th Mar, 2020 15:03
I found this in my junk mail would you believe. Outlook or someone should be severely thrashed. I’ve been missing Whimsey, that might be why. Hope you are OK, don’t forget to keep breathing. It’s not much fun out there at the moment anyway, I’d say quarantine is probably preferable to regular trips to Aldi.
Jules Smith
18th Mar, 2020 16:03
Junk mail? What the hell? How rude! Yes, someone needs a whipping!
I’m alright. The flu part is standard issue symptoms – I’ve probably even had worse – I would say it kept me to my bed for two good days and the third in and out of bed. After which I get waves of lethargy. Today the breathless stuff happened. Not a fan.
Yeah – you’re not wrong there! 🙂 ( though lack of Jaffa Cakes is not good)
LSP
18th Mar, 2020 15:03
Well that was uplifting and really glad to see you’re on the mend. Of course this thing’s just getting started in Texas, so we’ll see how it goes, a bit bumpy, I’ll warrant. But now you’ve shamed me into cleaning out the fridge!
Jules Smith
18th Mar, 2020 16:03
Hello LSP! Well, I think it will be interesting to see if I can keep my spirits up by keeping it up for others, so to speak. But can you ask God to help me breathe, please?
I command you to clean your fridge and then fill it full of delights. 🙂 #TaskOfTheDay
Janet
18th Mar, 2020 16:03
Love you Jules hope your feeling better. Things here are crazy. My daughter is going to bring me some groceries tomorrow. So far I have been lucky. Granddaughter lives 4 miles away so I go between her house and mine to keep my spirits up. Praying for you and miss you my friend. Reading the book I was surprised to see how many people don’t believe in God. How tragic this world has become
Jules Smith
18th Mar, 2020 16:03
Love you too, Janet.
It is a crazy time alright – I’ve never known anything like it. I honestly feel like I’m in a movie.
Make sure you look after yourself. Really. This thing is very contagious.
Thank you for your prayers and thoughts, I am honoured.
Yes, but the majority believe in “something” or their interpretation of God which is hope in some aspect. The world certainly needs a lot more of that. Big Hugs x
the late phoenix
18th Mar, 2020 20:03
she’s back, baby!!!
I knew a little ball that looks like a cat’s chew-toy couldn’t fell you, mah dahlin, you’re freakin’ Mother Nature!
MM stands for Medical Meditations now
I found something sticky in my refrigerator once…it was…nevermind, I do remember a story of when I got a new fridge after 30 years with my old fridge: moving all the food from one to the other was a job I did myself, it took three days…
hey you and fellow domestic goddess Melissa Maker should meet up and discuss cleaning!
name of new pasta dish: Corona Capellini
Curb Your Frustration, Episode 1: Larry David runs out of toilet paper…
*)
Jules Smith
19th Mar, 2020 10:03
I’m back, BABY!!! Yes, my sweet!
Right? I’m an earth warrior! I will fight this evil germ and I will win!
MM – Lemsip – Tasks – Sleep. Repeat.
I think Melissa would be proud of my fridge – she should repost my efforts! *)
Ginny
19th Mar, 2020 03:03
My first thought when I saw the lead photo of the empty shelves was, “She picked a helluva time to come back to Texas!” SOOO sorry you’ve picked up the nasty little bug, but I’m looking forward to the further results of your inspiration. Here’s hoping for your quick and smooth recovery…
Jules Smith
19th Mar, 2020 11:03
Lovely to see you here, Ginny! Hope you’re doing OK! Wish I could say I had got to Texas cos I’m sure the heat there will kill it off! Our supermarkets are just as bare due to panic buying – it’s ridiculous!
Hope you enjoy the isolation tasks! 🙂
Bathwater
19th Mar, 2020 19:03
Jules, now I can say I know someone who has the virus! Take care of yourself. Do procrastinate if things get worse. I am finding it very difficult to stay socially distant. I don’t like all this alone time.
Jules Smith
20th Mar, 2020 10:03
Yeah – it’s a bundle of laughs.
I am taking care of myself, I promise. It’s all very odd, isn’t it? A guy bought a package to my door the other day and he stood 6ft away asking for my name so he could input the proof of delivery and then practically lobbed the parcel at me. Made me laugh.
There’s always us lot on here – no need to be alone – holler up if you feel low. 🙂
Terry
20th Mar, 2020 01:03
My Dearest Julesy…I am soooo glad to hear you are up & about, tackling naughty chores and creating culinary delights !
But something caught my eye inside your fridge : There on the far right recesses of the top shelf, the only jar with the label turned AWAY from the camera, the one with the yellow substance, is that…..CHEEZ WHIZ ?!?!
Jules Smith
20th Mar, 2020 10:03
My dearest PPS!
I am feeling much better but just a bit breathless – but maybe that’s because I just saw that you were here!
Funnily enough, I’ve recently got into this chef from America on YouTube called Sam the Cooking Guy. Check him out. He makes “proper” food. However, last night he made two different versions of a Philly cheese-steak sandwich – one with normal cheese and one with Cheese Whiz. I watched as he heated up this orange paste and poured it over his meat. (THE MEAT IN THE SANDWICH _ EWW) and he preferred the cheese whizz version. He must be related to you!
The yellow jar in my fridge is Lemon Curd. It’s yummy and you spread it on toast! 🙂
Terry
20th Mar, 2020 11:03
I am off to visit Sam The Cooking Guy post-haste !
A curd and my toast shall never cross paths!
Jules Smith
23rd Mar, 2020 10:03
So what did you think? Have you seen his baconator? 😉
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